Ultra running and mental wellness, my experience.
It’s Tuesday night. It’s club night. I’ve been attending the club for a few months. I’ve ran a few short races, enjoyed them and did well physically. However, tonight, I’m stuck in my car. Paralysed by our primitive flight, fight or freeze response. Which had happened because I’m in mental wellness debt. My logical mind can not over come the primal part that insists going to the club is a potentially lethal task. But stop there, let me explain. Why does this involve ultras?
The best method I can think of to let people easily grasp is to equate mental currency to real life currency. Let’s call them Mental Wellness Tokens (MWT for short). To function in my every day life, I spend these tokens. Things as silly as phone calls, or appointments need to be paid for. So I need a reserve of tokens for these tasks. Let’s call it my savings.
But how do I earn MWT’s, you may ask. Well, by running. While running, something in that same primordial part of me, where the freeze response comes from, the act of motion, pure and simple, allows my to earn and indeed replenish or even add to my savings.
However, one of the tasks that costs MWT’s is racing. When I race, the cost is set. So not matter the race, the travel, the social interaction at the beginning and end, the start line, they cost me. And the return for the race is consistent with the length of time spent running, like a wage I earn x MWT’s per hour. And here lies the conflict. In short races, I’m loving the running. But, if for example I’m racing 5 k and it takes me 20 mins, I’m ending up with a MWT deficit. I’ve used more tokens to enter than I have earned by running. And this is what’s happened on that fateful Tuesday I decided to share my paralysis, I’ve raced a few small races, I’ve used my MWT’s to get to the club, and I’ve gone into debt. I can’t cope.
Now consider an ultra. The training is long. Often six months for one event. And done as a solo task, training does not cost me any MWT’s. So with every run I’m banking savings. Oft Yass! I’m in the money! I’m saving hard, I’m spending hard on life, lots of stresses, but I can cope, I can earn lots of MWT’s with no cost. Now come race day, I’m rolling in it! I pay my fee, for the stress of travelling, social interaction at the start and finish, but I’m still high on savings. And I run, and run, and run. The fee for the race is replaced, and then some. I finish, high on MWT’s and happy. And there is my analogy. Take from it what you will.
And I DID in fact get unstuck from the car that night. I headed home, I slept, the next day I ran, alone, I replaced some MWT’s. I decided why ultras are for me. I accepted my place in team Scotland for the Anglo Celtic Plate 100k. Which, is a huge honour. The team is amazing and I can not wait. To run is not to be stressed. Count your MWT’s, wherever you earn them. And spend them wisely, I know I will.
